Porcelain

Porcelain

A pretty face
A cute smile
Not a care in the world

Appearances can be misleading

To you
I am a porcelain doll
My eyes are perfectly painted
A beautiful hue that grabs your gaze

A perfectly placed drip of white paint
And my eyes shimmer
You see a thousand reasons to be happy

But maybe you're wrong

That white dot isn't a glimmer of happiness
It's the birth of a tear
That will eventually tip over
My porcelain lid

When the tear finally falls,
Then will you see I am real?

Will you see pain dripping from my open sores?
The salt of my tears burning my cut and broken flesh

Or will you think a drop on rain has fallen onto your doll
And simply wipe it away with the sleeve of your sweatshirt

When you notice a crack in the chest
Leading down into the delicate white lace dress I wear

Will you see my emotional pain transforming into physical pain?
My heart aching for a break
For one day without another problem hurled at it's glass shell
Cracking more and more

Or will you think it's a factory mistake
Your doll is perfect
Never in harms way

When you see my little arms
Sleeved in white lace
Held out open

Will you see my pleading
Begging to be held
To feel the warmth of another human
If I had knees I'd be on them groveling

Or will you see a perfectly constructed pose?
Showing off the detail at the waist of the dress
Making me seem welcoming as I sit on your shelf

One day
Just one
Take me down from the shelf
And hold me close
Wrap your arms around my little porcelain body
Finger the intricate design of the lace in my dress
Stroke my hair my golden hair

Then hold me close
And feel through the perfect exterior
The tiny heart struggling to keep beating